On the work table this weekend

I am very excited about the bear with the knit hat… lol so much fun to make clothes for the Bears !!

I was not sure what to write about today…. so I perused some of my favorite blogs and it appears many of the people I am attracted to are going through the same type of self evaluations… Some pretty major events have taken front stage this last week. I have been awaiting a dr Appt for nearly a month now and finally was able to get in Poor Little dear was given a huge list of issues… I am far from healthy. I am a Insulin controlled Diabetic and have not had good control for over 20 years. I have all the kidney blood pressure and other issues that goes with that.  Only time I have been able to manage appropriately is when I was pregnant with my 3 children.  I have horrible stomach issues GERD BSD but now it is looking like. No WELL actually… I have a seizure disorder. This is HUGE..and hopefully all a horrible hoax. All these years ??  I do not let my conditions define who I am… it is all a challenge that I work around. GOD KNOWS I am not the only one. I am thinking through so many different scenarios trying to wrap my head around this. My mother Died at my age of Brain Cancer. She seized and was dead 2 years later at 42. I DO NOT HAVE BRAIN CANCER !!!!!! WAHOOOO…. been doing a weird sick little happy dance about this for a week now…lol. I do have the potential of becoming a health fanatic… All organic, GMO free exercise like a mad women.. I do that OCD thing oh so well… then I get bored. I don’t let myself  go down that road for very long and often will avoid it like the plague… Obsessive behavior is BAD for Cindy I am going to start keeping a wellness diary, I need to document what is going on. For example I have been taking a stomach relaxer for years… only when I get nauseated can be weeks with no issues but when I need it I NEED it. New Dr won’t prescribe them :/ I am to go to the ER when I have an episode. Been there done that. They put an IV in Rehydrate me give me the inject able version of my pill and tell me I am not dying. Now I do understand the Dr logic, she doesn’t want me at home having seizures because I took my stomach pill. The stomach pain is an Aura of the seizure. So totally understand but it is freaking me out not to have that security blanket. That if my stomach hurts I can just take a pill… BUT this may be the only way the DR can get me admitted and find out in more detail what is happening. ALL scary and all I want is for it to go away. SO I am taking my insulin, High blood pressure med and acid pill  writing everything down and waiting for the shoe to drop :/ I know it will all be OK… I just dread the trip. Sheesh… this did not have anything to do with why Wednesday is one of my Favorite days… LOL. Every day is my Favorite Day !! I am a Teddy Bear maker and how can anything be better than that !! I love getting to work on my jolly little fellows, I love the joy they bring to others !!

I think a photo will explain things much better than a long drawn out explanation… Well maybe a little explanation is in order but unfortunately I don’t have one. Last week I lost consciousness and seized not once but twice… the first episode creating the lovely colors you see below. The second in the ER that my terrified husband rushed me to. All my blood work and CAT scan results came back with in normal range. I do have a UTI but that is now reason for my experience… Well I Heal now and hope to get back to BETTER than normal soon ♥♥ Thank you all to my lovely well wishers on Facebook

ADOPTED

This nearly 5 inch little worried fellow is crocheted in a wonderful alpaca with Glass eyes and embroidered nose, Loosely thread jointed for his wonderful floopy personality

I am trying very hard to make time to write to you all As per normal in our house it has been very busy !! Frederick is feeling betting Thank you all for the well wishes ♥ I have had my ultrasound and the found nothing in the Gallbladder but bile an enlarged Fatty liver due to insulin resistance… so next step is to head down the insulin pump road… Hope is in the future Anna has Bronchitis again :/ but she now is on a z pack and will be headed down the road of recovery….. Greg on the other hand threw his back out refused to go see a DR and I just don’t feel sorry for him.

My father and law and Eldest daughter have been visiting for the last few days and Fred Senior and Frederick went Salmon fishing… Frederick Caught himself a 30 pound female Wild Coho Salmon and tonight we get to feast !!! plus there was so much roe that granpa is going to make more bait… they were suppose to be headed back home early this morning but the lure of catching another has grandpa fishing off his river board Hope he put a wet suit on it is COLD !!! Allison is out picking tomatoes and basil to take back and make soup for the weekend. She seems to be looking forward to her new living situation.

Allison is my eldest and she is the first to leave the nest, I have been told that empty nest is hard but I have found the transition pretty smooth. I love Allison but we have always had a personality clash, her priorities are not the same as mine have ever been and though I try hard to understand it is not easy all the time. I look forward to developing a healthy adult relationship with my lovely Daughter.